Childhood Rivalry

Ever since we found out that Liam was coming, we were a little concerned about how L.V. might react. Since we have been home, L.V. has been an excellent big brother - perhaps to good of a big brother. He lays at the foot of Liam's chair, paces when Liam cries, and now he has taken to stand sentry over Liam's crib. Woe be to him who crosses the red-eyed cat's path.

From Liam Birth

From Liam Birth

From Liam Birth

From Liam Birth

From Liam Birth

(I once seen him eat a man alive.)

Liam and Bedhead Dad
There is a reason that Liam is working on his fourth week and you haven't seen these photos. But in the interest of full disclosure . . . It would have been nice if Liam could return the PhotoShop favor.

From Liam Birth

From Liam Birth

From Liam Birth

From Liam Birth

From Liam Birth

Unflattering Characterizations

It seems that Liam has taken exception to some of my characterizations of him as of late. While not defamatory, I do have to admit that some of my characterizations have been unflattering.

For example, Liam is an enthusiastic eater - to the point that he almost forgets to breath. It sounds a little like a fat boy going for broke at the Olde Towne Buffet. I understand why he may not appreciate being seen by his dad in this light, and I apologize. Although, in my defense, I could have gone for the gold and compared him to Jabba the Hut. I am showing some restraint.

Another example, Liam is somewhat pitiful looking when you burp him. He just short of hangs there with his mouth open, grunting. It sounds a little like the frat boy whose love for Natural Lite outpaces the fortitude of his stomach. Lots of "Oh, God" and "I'll never do this again." Again, I understand his complaint and apologize.

So, moving forward, no fatty or fratty jokes. He's so sensitive.

No Action
I've already mentioned earlier in the month the unexpected lack of fireworks in child-rearing. Under the heading of no action, there have been a number of beautiful evenings these past three weeks when K-, Liam, and L.V. are all sleeping at the same time. Liam in his chair and K- and L.V. curled up on the futon. These are some of my favorite times.

You would figure it would be just to have a free personal time (the only real adjustment I have felt over the past 3 weeks). Instead, I normally sit dumb with an odd feeling of pride. I say odd, because I haven't done anything to create such a peaceful scene. In fact, it takes most of my willpower to stop myself from taking their picture and ruining the scene with a flash. There is something though about watching them sleep and being almost certain that they are in a nice place that is pure pride.

Liam's First Walk
In other news this week, we took Liam on his first walk last Sunday. We took a lovely jaunt up to Phoenix for a delicious Cafe Au Lait and Hot Choco. In respect for the coming end of Ramadan and the high winds off of Lake Erie, we decided to outfit Liam in a cozy Burka Burrito of PJs, Blankets, and BundleMe. While he saw nothing of the outside world after these two photos, I am sure that he felt the wonder of nature.

From Liam Birth

From Liam Birth

Liam and Mom

From Liam Birth

From Liam Birth

From Liam Birth

From Liam Birth

Exercises in Parental Vanity

So, we finally got Liam's official hospital photo in the mail this week.

From Liam Birth

Let's say, I was underwhelmed. As a parent, I expect to maintain the vain illusion that my child is perfect progeny. Bad hair cuts through those illusions like a man behind the curtain. Did they not have a brush or a smoothing hand in the nursery? Look at that hair!

No worries though, folks. Thanks to the wonders of Photoshop, Liam's bedhead has been erased from history in a matter of moments. Look at that beautiful head of hair. Illusion restored. Now, I just have to find a way to Photoshop diapers.

From Liam Birth

Cribs - Liam Edition

From Liam Birth

From Liam Birth

From Liam Birth

From Liam Birth

From Liam Birth

Liam's First Doctor Visit

Liam had his first official doctor's visit yesterday, and I can tell you that it went much better than the unofficial visit we took him on the first day we had him home to learn the mysteries of infant feeding. Liam has grown from his original 7 lbs and some and 19 inches long to 8 lbs and some and 21 inches long. Not bad work for laying around and doing nothing all day.

Not to brag, but the doctor also said that he is remarkably strong. I know last week that I was worried about his thuggish tendencies, but I much rather him be a strong thug than some Steve Bushemi type thug. I mean, if I had to choose.

In fact, she said he was so strong that we should be careful not to leave him on a bed or table alone, because he would likely flip himself off and land on the floor. The doctor added that, if we absoultely had to, we should at least put down a blanket.

K- and I have decided just to keep an eye on Liam's acrobatics instead. While we have plenty of blankets, it seems a waste to use them for such low grade collisions. I have to admit that I was unaware of the magical properties of blankets. I mean, I apprieciate their coziness. However, with my new found knowledge, I have taken to wrapping our cars with them.

Hospital Apocrypha

With all of the excitement about Liam, I forgot to share with you the fact that L.V. was with us at the hospital through new technology. Since it is unsanitary to have pets in the hospital, Lakewood has devised a way to visit the room through 1980's motel art. It is fairly remarkable what they can do with pastels these days. Below you will find a picture of Kate and L.V. sharing a tender moment:

From Liam Birth

And here is L.V. resting after one of his broadcasts to the hospital room:

From LV

Sleeping Baby

From Liam Birth

From Liam Birth

From Liam Birth

On Names

Prior to birth, when parents are doing the heady work of selecting baby names, there is always push and pull. Some think that you are not only selecting a name that your child will carry for life, but you are in no small way sealing the child's destiny. Parents come up with various strategies to push the hand of fate - crying, yelling, pouting. All can be effective.

My strategy was the biographical approach. When ever K- would come up with a name, I would come up with his life story. For example, Miles was a nerdy, Machiavellian that would make up for lost milk money with evil plans of world domination. Liam was a guitar-playing, Nobel-prize winning soccer player jet setter that was loved by women, respected by men, and loved his mother above all else. An easy choice if there ever was one.

Despite my best laid plans, however, I report with some consternation that I introduce his first nicknames - Wildcat and Rattlesnake. While from a fairly benign origin (as reported yesterday, he shakes his head like crazy when he is hungry), it fear that they are leading him on another life path. A life of a biker, escaped prisoner that enjoys pork rinds and who counts among his closest associates Icepick, Dagger, and Eddy. As you can see in the photo below, he is already exhibiting thuggish tendencies. Where have we gone wrong?

From Liam Birth

Isn't he just precious?

It occur ed to me this morning that I have been shirking my duty as a parent. As you likely know, it is the responsibility (Ney, requirement) of any new parents to keep the rest of the free world intimately informed of the minute details of their child's existence. For every detail, is a reminder of the gift of life. It is with this duty in mind that I submit you Liam's top 3 cute things he has done. Since I have yet to be able to capture these miracles on film, I will do my best to characterize them in words:

1. When hungry, Liam has a tendency to open his mouth and thrash his head about. Think a baby bird or a mental patient.

2. When not eating, thrashing, or sleeping, Liam has a tendency to purse his lips in mock thought. Think Donald Trump or Dr. Evil.

3. When not eating, thrashing, sleeping, or pursing, Liam likes to whistle Crimson and Clover by Tommy James & The Shondells. [Sorry, but embellishment is another requirement.]

So there you have it. It is not a large repertoire, but what do you want? He is only 12 days old. Critics . . .

Liam - 300th Million American

This morning the New York Times published A 300 Millionth American. Don’t Ask Who.

Since there is no clear winner, I would like to throw Liam's hat into the ring. I ask you, who would make a better symbol for the new America than Liam. Sure, by government estimates, he was more than a week late. But, if it is anything like the budget, there are likely to be a little off. Sure, I may be slightly bias. But, if the Times can't make a decision, then why not us, people.

Liam the symbol of a new America. Prepare your Presidential vote for somewhere around 2060.

Liam and Mom - Part 2

From Liam Birth

From Liam Birth

From Liam Birth

From Liam Birth

From Liam Birth

First Day Away

Yesterday, K- left the house for the first time since we had gotten home. She ran to Target for about an hour or two. When she got home, she mentioned how hard it was for her to be away that long. I was a little surprised, because it hadn't really bothered me that much when I went on my errands earlier that day. I might have driven a little faster, but only to get home to help K- faster.

Today, however, I started back to work after a week at home with K- and Liam and I am definitely feeling pangs. What is surprising is that I am not worried about anything happening to either of them (I am fairly sure they are safe). Instead, it is a feeling from childhood - missing out.

As a child, I would hate to go to bed. I wasn't afraid (well, except after I read Cujo. Then, I stared at the book jacket all night, fearing the dog would jump out of the pages). Instead, I didn't want to miss the best times - god forbid if someone was laughing downstairs.

Going to bed isn't a problem anymore(especially these days), but the feeling is still there. Even when now the variations in Liam's repertoire are eat, gas, other bodily functions, and sleep, I still can't wait to get home.

Economics of Advice

When K- and I first learned that Liam was coming, we were surprised to learn that he came with a membership in the Baby Club. If you are not familiar, the moment you are going to have a child you are inducted into a semi-secret club of other parents and honorary members. One of the perks of belonging to the club is that other people take a surprising interest in your mundane day-to-day activities. Another perk is advice.

In economics, everything is supposed to follow the law of supply and demand. It would seem that advice follows this law perfectly - everyone has advice and therefore no one takes it.

However, a wrinkle comes in when you bring in questions of value - not all advice is created equal. Economics says, if someone wanted to give you a 42 inch plasma TV (instead of your 13 inch B/W), you would take it. However, with advice (especially with new parents), this doesn't seem to be the case. Even when people want advice, an impervious force field seems to go up. Over a bottle last night, Liam has offered a couple of hypotheses:

1. The advice simply isn't good. For example, when K- was told by a Lactation Consultant that she should breast feed, because formula makes babies stink more and it is hard to love a crying, stinky baby.

I told Liam that this really doesn't violate any ideas of value. He cried like a baby and then offered . . .

2. Another hypothesis is that the advisee is not ready. In the case of new parents, the fog (a cocktail of crying baby, lack of sleep, and daytime TV) blocks all words except your,baby,is,perfect or any permutations. In other words, context creates value.

Liam sucked a little more on his bottle, getting sleepy, and then bolted up . . .

3. Another possibility is that the advisee doesn't want to admit they don't have all the answers. In the case of new parents, Liam offered, this is all the more relevant, because who wants the connotations of being (at the very least) an unfit parent and (at the very worst) being Micheal Keaton in Mr. Mom. In other words, motivation creates value.

I know the Nobel Prize in Economics was annonced last week and Liam was only 5 days old, but I really think the committee should reconsider Phelps' prize. Liam . . . Nobel Laureate, it has a lovely ring.

Liam and Mom

From Liam Birth

From Liam Birth

From Liam Birth

From Liam Birth

From Liam Birth

First Moments of Liam

Here are some of the photos from Liam's first few minutes in the world:

From Liam Birth

From Liam Birth

From Liam Birth

From Liam Birth

From Liam Birth

Words are weak.

After 5 days of Liam, I feel now that the universe has opened itself up and all mysteries have been revealed.

Actually, in all seriousness, I am surprised at how very little myth and magic there has been to having Liam. Watching sit-coms and Hollywood movies for my queues (where I always go to learn life lessons), you get the sense that having a child plunges you into constant (and often hilarious) crisis or stupefying wonder. The same is true of the stories that are offered by your loved friends and family and the random person in line at the supermarket. However, these magical myths haven't seemed to fit the past days. Just like Hollywood childbirth is only a blur of fast-driving, heavy-panting, screaming, and then crying baby, these stories seem to cut out the long, quiet (some might say boring bits).

You can't fault the storyteller (no one likes a boring story). You really can't fault the stories either (you can only do so much with words). Stories really don't give the experience of time justice. It is terribly confounding and also delightful to live something that doesn't (because it can't) be put into words. All we can do is take a page from Liam and watch what is going on around us - with or without fireworks.

In a constant effort to bring you Liam in all forms (and to give you something to watch). Here is video of Liam as he tries to master the power of the pacifier:



[The video seemed to render a little dark on You Tube. Sorry in advance if it is dark on your computer.]

On perspective
One of the primary themes of all the conversations I had during the past 9 months is how everything changes when you have a child. I have to admit that (as a hold out from more idealistic and more cavalier times) my inner voice said throughout these conversations, "no joke." However, nothing illustrated that theme better than today.

As I mentioned in my last post, Liam had a rough night last night. Come to find out that it was due to the problems he has had with feeding (this is your time to say, "no joke.") After a morning of more of the same, K-'s excellent intuition had her call the doctor and they asked us to come in. Long story short, they gave us some much better strategies for feeding and gave us a focus - a wet diaper.

While this was already a goal we were discharged from the hospital, today it became our soul focus. When I watched TV, it was like it wasn't on. I went to Target and can't remember what I bought for us. On the way back from Target, I stopped at a stop light where the Lincoln next to me had an older woman at the wheel and a 3-4 foot Iguana on the dash - okay, that got my attention. When the wet diaper happened around 6, it was like winning the war, the world series, and the Oscars all at the same time. Strong work, Liam.

New pictures - Proud parents, this time.

From Liam Birth

From Liam Birth

From Liam Birth

From Liam Birth

From Liam Birth