On Conspiracies

Call it lack of sleep or what have you, but I am beginning to believe that there are some conspiracies out there to take advantage of us poor new parents. While I am not planning on building a bunker anytime soon and living off the grid, I am getting concerned that I am finding more and more conspiracies. Again, call it lack of sleep, or the domino theory (find one conspiracy and find them all - JFK isn't too far away), or that new parent conspiracy is growing stronger. In any case, here are a few of the conspiracies that I uncovered during breakfast:

1. Pernicious Parenting Magazine: It seems that every new parent experience (registering at Babies 'R Us, getting photos taken, delivering the baby) comes with a limited subscription to Parenting Magazine with no risk to you. Even when you don't want one (and it seems like we said no one thousand times), they still show up at your door, as inevitable as the birth. At first, I thought it was just to push magazines, but they were too nice on the phone when I cancelled one subscription that got through our defenses. Instead of profit, it seem like they are trying to get some subliminal message across. Perhaps in support of our next conspiracy.

2. Sinister Similac: Similac provides thousands of different variations of one thing - baby formula. Is there really a difference between these powders or is Similac taking advantage of gullible parents desperate to get their beautiful child not to cry and willing to try anything (even one hundred and one formulas at $20+ a pop) by offering the same powder with different scents (We'll scent this one like chalk, this one like beef gravy, this one like cookie dough - they'll never know the difference). Different scents and articles in Parenting Magazine.

I think I'm on to something. If I disappear, keep the search for the truth going.